Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
