Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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