Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
