Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
