Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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