yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
