this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You had me at "let me see your balls"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
