hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
