I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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