i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
