my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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