Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
