life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
