I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize