You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
