Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
