Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize