Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
