Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
