She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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