I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
