She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
3pm strippers are depressing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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