Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I looked at my own cervix.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize