Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
