I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
