No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
