its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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