And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize