these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize