Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
