Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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