another moral hangover. fuck.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
