He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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