Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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