And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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