$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
