She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
