Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
