I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
