the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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