So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
