I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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