sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize