The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
