I'm eating all of the evidence.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
