Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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