I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
