there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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