ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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