Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
