Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
