I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
