Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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