I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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