New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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